Rapid Teen Models 18+

Pool tables are all about sex. Think about that the next time you play against one of your buddies. It’s equivalent to dancing—gay raver dancing.

Did you just take a dump in my pool?! No, that’s impossible. You’re a hot girl. You don’t shit, ever. Girls just hold it deep inside until it somehow goes away.

Dena takes some heavy man-spray between the eyes. She deserves it for wearing some 7-year-old’s checkered flag bed sheets.

Sophia Coppola may have an infatuation with young blonde actresses. After casting the beautiful Scarlett Johansen, opposite Bill Murray, in Lost in Translation, she has snagged yet another stunning blonde, Kirsten Dunst, to star in her latest film Marie Antoinette.

Remember the transparent underwear scene in Lost in Translation that seemed to lack any relevance to the rest of the film? Well, Coppola is still parading ass on the screen to get your ass to the movie theatre! Moviegoers can catch a bit of Kirsten Dunst’s hot body (and shallow acting) in this new flick, which, I should hope, will break up the mess of what is certainly a superficial, spoilt American girl’s take on 18th century French history.

At least Coppola agrees with most historians in that Marie Antoinette was a massive slut. And it’s about time we’re able to see more of Kirsten Dunst unrobed—god knows Spiderman is too gay to get the job done himself.

Check out this pic of Kirsten keeping her smoke on the down-low. If only her character Mary Jane was this cool!!

We got some asian lovers out there? Hell yea! I love Maria Ozawa. She has an incredible look. Even when bald, deeply tanned Yakuza aren’t jizzing all over her. Seriously, why would a girl who could easily become a top model settle for a career as a Japanese AV idol? Probably for the same reason why 500 people in her country voluntarily participanted in the largest group sex video ever shot.

Above: Random Boobies

Goddamn I love playing Battlefield 2! There’s nothing more amusing than suddenly ordering my entire squad on some bizarre suicide mission to the enemy’s uncapturable base. There’s something about exerting my twisted will over 5 complete strangers, who will inevitably whine about my incompetent leadership (over the mic), that further charges my excitement for an already amazing game.

I play online games to relax, but I swear, most of these other guys seem more worked up about my wild piloting skills and friendly cover fire than actually having fun. Folks, online games are about interacting with people; the goal isn’t necessarily to capture bases and collect points.

Oh well, enough’s enough. So it’s back to my regular routine— scouting hot chics, posting pics and broadcasting my own personal angle on anything worth discussing.

So let’s start off with this simple picture of two total hotties. The girls standing nude are obviously stunning. I mean, stunning in a way that will make you cry if you found yourself comparing them with your current girlfriend or wife. These girls are head-to-toe perfection. Unfortunately, I can’t seem to recall where I got this pic from and I don’t know the identity of either girl! But, did you notice, the girl on the right seems to be standing on something to make her height even with the blonde. I think their equal height, but varied look and body-type, enhances the attraction of this pair even more. Also, do you see one girl as looking more European, and the other one more North American?

The cute chic above is Angelica Lee. This Malaysian actress has appeared in a few Asian movies recently. Her most famous role was the blind girl in The Eye. Although the movie was brutally retarded, I did enjoy seeing this young singer-actress for the first time. I tried to find some nice shots of her that show off her cuteness.

Finally, just how wrong is it to find CGI chics like Penelo (above) absolutely doable if it were physically possible and, well, totally between you and her. And how does the Final Fantasy series always produce such eye-pleasing female characters that have scripted, goofy relationships with the main character that somehow, secretly, become the only reason why you’re still playing the game after 80 hours of mindless level upping and text reading:

“Cloud… ?”

“Hrrm.. …”

“I.. just.. don’t know Cloud.”

“Hrrrmm…”

“Let’s rest here.”

I’ve never seen so much ass in a single music video! And by the way, I’m talking about real dumper bums here— these ladies use the big toilet.

J-shin’s latest, and perhaps only, music video provides an abundance of beefy backsides groovin’ to a flow of catchy urban beats. It has got me replaying the video over and over, partly for the tunes, but mostly for the booty.

So, just who is J-shin? Think of him as the poor man’s Usher.

Despite his weasel-like appearance and Chris Tucker-like vocals, J-shin presents himself with surprising confidence. He comes across as a hardworking, troubled soul ready to break into mainstream R&B at any cost. In his video, he proudly stands (often a foot shorter) around gaggles of smokin’ hot poolside models, as if to prove his status as a successful, black recording artist by syncing up to the most stereotyped image possible.

His tune ain’t bad though.

What Baby Momma Drama lacks in any depth or intelligence it makes up for with instant tune catchiness. As for the video, it is also produced by Southbeat Records, and contains all the ass-shaking, booze flowing R&B clichés you’ve grown accustomed to seeing in the last 15 years of inspiring hip-hop culture. In fact, I’m pretty sure it features the same mansion used in every R&B/rap video ever created.

However, there’s something particular about this video that makes it stand apart from your average MTV stock. This time, Southbeat has opted for a porn-inspired, X-rated theme to visualize J-shin’s head-bobbing track. And it’s clear that the director is squarely focused on the top-notch ass models hired for the shoot. Indeed, it seems that they invested so much in getting these big booty models into the video that they forgot to shop for J-shin’s wardrobe. His Salvation Army T-shirt seems oddly out of place next to overflowing glasses of Crystal and Alize!

Check out the video if you can handle the 18meg download. I guarantee it will appeal to any ass-man (even if R&B isn’t your thing). Also, can you spot the cameo by legendary Miami street fighter Kimbo Slice? Classic shit I tell ya!

Egyptian female of Macedonian descent, enjoys hitting the pipe, killing relatives and frequent, rough sex with total strangers. *Seeking all men*

Yes, another post about HBO’s mini-series Rome.

Last week, Cleopatra, played by actress Lyndsey Marshal, was introduced to the show’s cast, and I must say, this is an episode with enormous replay value!

First off, we discover that Cleo’s hooked on Egyptian crack. Famous for inventing beer, I guess Egyptians also mastered the fine art of freebasing. Zonked out on rocks, Cleo goes around hissing like a serpent and needs to be slapped just to see straight!

Later in the show, when a couple of Roman soldiers rescue her from a team of black assassins, she tries to fuck both of them. No real reason is given. Still later, she seduces Caesar, in perhaps the only historically provable event in the whole episode.

It seems that HBO has dragged this young actress through loads of filth just so she can earn her place in the series. Good thing for us, it is quite likely that the show isn’t finished yet with parading her slutty ass. Mark Anthony, future husbands, and whoever else HBO invents and subsequently tosses into the congo line, are still waiting patiently, like the last of a 100-man bukkake.

The producers should be commended.

Anyway, I made a bit of a highlight clip from last week’s episode, seeing how so few pictures of Cleo can be found on the Web.

As always, enjoy!

Long have I awaited for the return of my absolute favorite TV show The Sopranos. So about a month ago, I was browsing the HBO website looking for info on the new season when I stumbled across a promotional page for a completely different, mega-budget mini-series called Rome. So far, I have managed to watch every episode in the continuing historic saga, and it has met all my expectations for a top-notch production.

In true HBO fashion, each episode features some great sex and nudity that spice up the already fascinating character developments and plot.

The hottie Niobe, played by actress Indira Varma, totally reminds me of the Met Art cover model Juman “Kohilo,” although the latter appears somewhat younger and is definitely more sporting than the British born actress.

In the show, Niobe is a scandalous lil’ whore who cheats on her warrior husband while he’s out conquering Europe. She even has a kid with her own sister’s husband! I’m pretty sure Juman, with her close resemblance to Niobe, is also a total slut!

You heard it here first!

P.S. what the hell is a ‘Juman’ or ‘Kohilo’??

Above: Grace Park is the dirtiest of them all!