Rapid Teen Models 18+

In today’s news a homebound train packed full of blind orphans barreled off of a cliff– blah blah who gives a shit, dude, check out the reporter’s giant rack!!

Sometime during the 90’s when cable TV introduced waaay too many sources for getting your daily news fix, stations started ditching their Quaker Oats, grandpa-look-a-like anchormen and replaced them with young, barely literate beauty queens. I mean, who really gives a shit anyways about war, natural disasters, or how some little bitch in China can’t do his Falun Gong. That shit’s worse than devil worshipping. What could be more informative than a low cut blouse, two slutty eyes, and a sexy voice flawlessly breaking news about mass dysentery in Bangladesh!? Sure, CNN’s face of news is looking sweeter than ever, but what’s seen abroad is so fucking hot it can barely even be compared.

Melissa Theuriau brings the evening news, like an upscale Paris call-girl, to millions of lucky French men. I can just imagine the all too common, husband-to-wife scenario each night before the broadcast: “soooo I need to watch the news in private again, it’s.. quite emotional for me.. yea I’ll be needing all that tissue paper.”

Get ready to Windex the plasma!

But back to our corner of the world, where we definitely have more hotties working in broadcast than ever before. One sexy gal that comes to mind is Maria Bartiromo, the sexy Italian-American Wall Street reporter. She kind of epitomizes the whole bold woman in a sea of tube steaks image; a tactic used by the network to retain viewers based solely on her sex appeal. Being labeled the Money Honey, even by her own people, her slutty image caused ratings to rocket during the late 90’s on her MSNBC financial news show. No doubt, Maria is a mega cutie and apparently one smart cookie. She also has one of those wide, saucer mouths with poutty lips and an arched nose, just perfect for.. errm, reporting the news.

I did my best to round up some hotty fizzle televizzle biatches below, so check em out.